Port of call: Portofino

After a fantastic night’s sleep in the world’s most comfortable bed, rocking gently back and forth as the Marina sailed through the night, we arrived in Portofino.

The wisteria was in full bloom as we strolled around town,,,,

and watched locals building a bonfire for tomorrow night’s Easter celebration in the square.

This is the place where the rich and famous come to vacation and shop….

I thought maybe Oprah was here for a minute….

Then, it was back to the ship to assume the traditional holiday position on the private deck of the Canyon Ranch Spa . (And, yes, I am, in fact, the palest person aboard the Marina. There’s no contest, really.)  Ciao, ciao!

Made it onto the Marina

I have to type fast because it's 95 cents per minute but suffice to say that despite a slight hiccup in our flights, we made it to Nice, albeit at midnight instead of 6 p.m.  Here's the view from our room this morning:

After some hilarious train drama (which I'll tell you about when wifi is cheaper), we caught the train to Monte Carlo and embarked onto the Marina to start our 5-day cruise, compliments of Food and Wine Trails.  Here's the view from the pool deck:

Here's the pool deck itself:

That's where I'm heading right now. It's Happy Hour - 2 for 1. Tonight, the "Groovin'" show in the lounge.  Groovy! Ta ta from Monte Carlo. Tomorrow, it's onto Portofino.

Mother Nature is not my BFF right now.

The trip is not starting well. Severe weather in Chicago delayed 1st flight 2 1/2 hours. Leaving KCI in a few minutes, God willing. Will miss connection to Frankfurt tonight. Luckily, we can still make the ship if we skip the first night in Nice. Oh, well.  Best laid plans.....

The Madwoman of Lufthansa

"You want me to fly for 8 1/2 hours in coach with nothing but a velour neck pillow and free booze to comfort me?"

A friend let me borrow her nifty neck pillow with the snap in front (also handy for hooking on luggage handles) for the long flight tonight. After giving it a brief test run, I decided I needed an ace in the hole. Voila! A note from my doctor verifying my recent injuries and suggesting it "would be beneficial for patient to have extra leg and hip room."

It was my brilliant spouse's idea, which he soon realized isn't that brilliant if I end up in first class and he's stuck back in coach.

334 Euros a night?!?!? Thanks a lot, JP2.

After yet another round of second-guessing our itinerary, I inquired of the Hotel Rex if we could extend our stay in Rome by one night. "Si" came the answer....IF we wanted to pay $475 American for the night. "What the what?" I replied via email (not in so many words), knowing our rate for the first two nights was only 146 Euros per. I soon found out Pope John Paul II is being sanctified on May 1st and the demand for Roman hotels is skyrocketing. Looks like we'll be getting out of Dodge just in time.

To dream the impossible dream

 

It's not pretty, but the carry-on is packed - minus one pair of jeans, my laptop and makeup bag. I haven't been this proud of myself since I figured out how to program the VCR.

Stupid is....

My column today is about dumbness. Not as in 'speech-impaired'. As in, the kind of mind-boggling idiocy that renders a middle-aged woman helpless and humiliated.

Bon voyage party, Italian style!

Our sweet friends had a going-away party in an Italian theme for us tonight...

which was an awfully nice thing to do, not to mention a great excuse to eat lasagna...

and gelato...

Grazie, amici! Arrivederci!

Day of Reckoning

Today is the day I attempt to pack my painstakingly selected travel essentials into one carry-on bag. That's two weeks worth of clothing, shoes, laptop and cosmetics in one 22 x 14 x 9 piece of luggage.  If I can do it, it will be a miracle on the order of the Virgin Birth. If I can't, I'm going to the other side of the spectrum, extra baggage fees be damned:

And, yes, I'll be wearing that travel outfit, too.

Erica, say it ain't so!!

Bulletin: Variety is reporting that ABC has cancelled "All My Children" and "One Life to Live." That's right, ladies. They're taking away your "stories." I'm glad my grandmother isn't alive to see this.

There's no gain without a little strain

I won't say the Activator (see post below) was a 'chiro-quack-tic' gimmick, because my chiropractor and her two colleagues typically see 300 patients a week (ca-ching!!!) including some of my friends.  But, my hip flexor strain started to improve only when I started physical therapy two days ago. I have been diligently performing my adductor stretches (see above) and am starting to see the pain-free light, just in time for that loooooong trans-Atlantic flight Tuesday night. Lesson learned: Magic solutions are rare. You have to work at it.