Wonderful or horrible? I can't decide.

I wept watching this video. Not sure if I was laughing or crying, though. I think I've seen that choir director in a Christopher Guest mockumentary.

RIP, Davy Jones. I loved you with all my teenie-bopper heart.

Oh, Fido. I can relate.

This over-sized pooch didn't like being at the vet's office. I have a physical coming up. I know how she feels. This is the moment right before you step on the scale.

Angelina: Such a poser

Would I kill for gams like that? Sure, I would. But, what's with the weird leg protuberance and bony hand on the hip routine, AJ?  Even when she was presenting, she was posing. Maybe I'm still bitter over her brazen poolside behavior witnessed, in person, by my husband, but methinks Angelina is trying too hard.

Missing the greatest Jayhawk fan of all

I've got my game face on. (Check out the size of that melon!)

My father - may he rest in peace - gave me many things including an enormous head, lead feet (the reason I rarely saw action on my high school basketball team), and an undying devotion for the University of Kansas. I live just a block away from that university now, and only three blocks from storied Allen Fieldhouse where the University of Kansas beat our arch-rival, the University of Missouri, yesterday. It was the last-ever regular season, Big 12 Conference game in a rivalry born on Civil War battlefields with Kansas on the side of good and God. (For you out-of-state readers who may not know - or care, understandably - M.U. is leaving the Big 12 for the SEC.) It was a down-to-the-buzzer, one-point, overtime barn-burner and the best, most exciting game I've seen in my entire life. After an exhausting night of celebrating, I woke up in a sweet afterglow tinged with melancholy. I sure wish my Dad could have seen that game. And I'm sad to see such a great tradition come to an end.

Happy birthday to my favorite Beatle

My favorite veggie of the moment

I'm on a serious Brussels sprouts kick right now. Here they are sliced thin on the mandolin, sauteed in lemon-infused olive oil and butter, then tossed in lemon balsamic vinegar and Garlic Expressions salad dressing. Sprinkled with fresh, shredded Parmesan cheese.  Divine.

My cautionary tale

    I'm hoping today's column will make readers think twice before hitting the tanning beds (which should be outlawed, imho). And, if you're over 40, get your epidermis into the dermatologist's office for a full body scan asap.
    Yes, I'm on a bit of a soapbox. But, I think I'm entitled.

"Skin Rules" rules!

I took advantage of a completely unscheduled day to stay at home in my yoga pants (I could live in these things), let my forehead heal, and catch up on my reading. This terrific new book (release date: March 13) is right up my alley these days since I'm determined to take much better care of my skin from here out. Written by a New York "dermatologist to the stars," it's packed with easy, affordable tips - including plenty of drugstore product recommendations - to help your skin look its best. The good doc offers 77 rules in short chapters written in pithy but personable style. Here are three freebies for you, but I really recommend you buy the book:

1. Avoid UV heating lamps in nail salons because the UV rays age your hands.
2. Don't use sunscreens containing Retinyl Palmitate.
3. Best over-the-counter remedy for extremely dry skin: Vaseline Intensive Rescue Clinical Therapy Skin Protectant Body Lotion. (Geez. How'd they get all that on the label?)

Efudex Day 20: Better than it looks

With one more day of treatment to go, this is about as bad as it's looked, so far. Surprisingly, it hurts very little now. The skin is tight and the cream stings a little going on but, all in all, not tragic.

And now that my bangs are getting longer, camouflage is even easier to achieve. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

And, speaking of Sir Paul...

The plot thickens (see preview post below): On the second night of our stay in London, a concert will be held in my honor (oops! I mean the Queen's honor) in front of Buckingham Palace.  Headlining are Paul and Elton, Tom Jones (get out of town!), Shirley Bassey and a"host of other stars to be announced at a later date." If Adele signs on, I'll be completely gobsmacked! The bad news is that the 5,000 available free tickets are to be given by lottery to U.K. residents only. (Whatever!) The good news is, there is serious potential for some major celebrity sightings. The bad news is, there is no way we're getting anywhere near Buckingham Palace on this trip. And the crowds aren't going to be fun either. Or will they? After all, what self-respecting Anglophile doesn't love a good spectacle?

Well, that's a fine 'how do you do!'

I just learned that the city of London will be throwing a welcome pageant, featuring a flotilla of 1000 boats down the River Thames, on the day the hubs and I arrive in town. How lovely of them! How charming! Okay, the hoopla is really for the Queen on the occasion of her Diamond Jubilee, but I can pretend, can't I? The good news is, our flight gets in early that morning (June 3) so we can get to our hotel and freshen up before dashing to the river at "high water." Crazy fun stuff like this always seems to happen to us when we travel. Except for the time we missed Paul McCartney in Santa Fe by three hours.

And speaking of Valentine's kisses....

chances are good your favorite lipstick contains lead. Does anyone else find this incredibly hard to believe in this day and age? The top ten offenders:
1. Maybelline’s Color Sensation in Pink Petal. (Lead content: 7.19 ppm)
2. L’Oreal Colour Riche in Volcanic. (Lead content: 7.00 ppm)
3. NARS Semi-Matte in Red Lizard. (Lead content: 4.93 ppm)
4. Cover Girl Queen Collection Vibrant Hues Color in Ruby Remix (Lead content: 4.92 ppm)
5. NARS Semi-Matte in Funny Face. (Lead content: 4.89)
6. L’Oreal Colour Rich in Tickled Pink. (Lead content: 4.45)
7. L’Oreal Intensely Moisturizing Lipcolor in Heroic. (Lead content: 4.41)
8. Cover Girl Continuous Color in Warm Brick. (Lead content: 4.28)
9. Maybelline Color Sensational in Mauve Me. (Lead content: 4.23)
10. Stargazer lipstick in shade “c.” (Lead content: 4.12)
Come on, people, get the lead out already!

My V-Day gift to you.

I can't believe I used to make fun of this guy back in the 70's.

Me thinks the lady doth protest too much

     "Don't get me anything for Valentine's Day," I say, predictably, every year. "I mean it. Save your money. It's just a nothing holiday created to sell chocolate and greeting cards. I'm serious about this now. Consider it a 'honey-don't'. No purchase necessary."
     I just love it when he ignores my instructions.
     Happy V-Day to all.

Efudex Day 16: Renewed appreciation for make-up

"Before" shot. Makeup on from the eyes down.

I continue to document my Efudex drama for all the people who will be handed a prescription by their dermatologist, then proceed to Google "Efudex" images until they're so scared they put off treatment for months, like I did. Here I am at Day 16 (with 5 days to go) and, while my forehead now resembles a pepperoni pizza, I am doing fine. It has been far less painful than I thought and the itching, while annoying at times, is totally manageable. I have a way to go until I achieve total crustiness (that's the holy grail of this deal; the sign that you are healed) but, so far, I've had no desire to stay away from people, like my doctor told me I would.

"After"

The difference, of course, is make-up. I don't wear it all the time because it tends to increase the itching. But on days like today when I have to do some light errand running, it's a godsend. Here, for you present and future Efudex patients, is my arsenal...

Weapons of mass deception

From left to right: Clinique's tinted moisturizer (which covered the spots pretty well the first 8 or 9 days); Clinique's airbrush concealer (slightly lighter shade, good for the little spots); Erase Paste by Benefit (the big guns, heavier coverage) and Clinique's Even Better makeup which provides nice, all-over coverage.

R.I.P.

Whitney Houston died yesterday afternoon in Los Angeles at the age of 48. So young; so tragic. I've been browsing her videos this morning and decided to post this one because, despite its extreme 80's cheesiness, I still love the song.

Booked: The British Isles

I'm jolly. I'm old. 'Guess it's time to finally go to jolly old England! Just booked a 2-week trip to the U.K. in early June for the hubs and I. 'Nothing like planning a bucket list trip to take your mind off what ails you. 

Efudex Day 13

13 days down, 8 to go...although the healing period will be an add'l two weeks. At least.

I discovered two important things today:
1) While I have a relatively high threshold for pain (childbirth will do that for a gal), I have ZERO tolerance for itching. And, oh, how these lovely lesions itch. Like chicken pox, they prickle. ARGH!
2) While the bangs strategy was genius from a cosmetic standpoint, the fringe feels like little needles when it brushes against my forehead. I had to pull my hair back in a headband as soon as I got home from work. Hopefully, I won't gross anyone out at the dinner table tonight.
Serenity now!

Beer banquet to the rescue

The menu. Five courses. Eight beers (4 oz each). Two-and-a-half hours of culinary bliss.

We hadn't been to a Free State Brewing Co. beer banquet in years. It's become a red hot ticket and you have to be on the ball to get seats. This year, tickets to all four nights sold out in 11 minutes online, but I was there at the opening bell, fingers blazing over the keyboard, and scored a table for six. It was a decadent thing to do on a "school night," but well worth it (and an excellent distraction from the increasing annoyance of my Efudex treatment.)

My unfortunate camera angle doesn't reveal the rare, lean loveliness of the rack of red deer from New Zealand. "Sushi grade," my son said, which turned out to be a fitting description.

The banquet pairs all kinds of beer with exquisite food, and you just can't believe how complementary the flavors are. The best pairing may have been with the entree (shown above): Rack of New Zealand red deer, blue and orange sweet potatoes, braised Brussels sprouts and red wine rosemary glace with....

Copperhead Pale Ale with a sprig of rosemary!  (Note to self: Investigate use of fresh herbs in various kinds of beer.) With the exception of one very small slice of brioche (topped with pan-fried fois gras, blackberry demi glace and toasted walnuts), there was no wheat in the whole meal. The beer was another story, but I'm using the "medicinal reasons" excuse this time. Today, back on the wagon.

Efudex Day 10

Efudex treatment is a little like labor. It starts slowly and intensifies in stages, exponentially commanding your attention along the way. The spots on my forehead are darkening, and the skin is tightening with kind of a low-grade, constant burn.  It's been so gradual that I'm adjusting pretty well. Today, I didn't attempt to cover it with make-up, as I did last week week. The doctor recommended keeping the skin covered with Vaseline. I found a petroleum jelly product with added shea butter and Vitamin E at CVS that felt so good on my face, I put it on my hands and neck, too.

Haircut by Teri Williams, The Green Room salon - Downtown Lawrence (where else?

Fortunately, my new 'do with heavy bangs is hiding most of the speckles, to the point where I might go ahead and go to lunch with the Rotarians with no fear of people losing their appetite. Critical to the 'do's magic is this new product - Night. Rider by Kevin Murphy - which holds my bangs exactly where I want them. Lovely citrus smell, too. Highly recommended.

A little dab'll do ya.

Best commercial of the Super Bowl. Period.

Those dogs and polar bears were adorable and all, but this one wins my prize. (Remember ladies: He's just a boy whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let him be misunderstood.)

Siri and me

My column today is not about the Super Bowl. This was intentional.

That's all, folks!

Semi-dress rehearsal in my living room. One of many. Rehearsals, that is. Not living rooms.

One of the reasons I haven't been BoomerGirl'ing much lately is because I was rehearsing this fine cadre of, er, gals for a talent show, which finally occurred last night. The show was part of the "Red Shoe Event," a fundraiser for our community homeless shelter. Our top secret act was called "Honey, I Shrunk Beyonce" and our featured number was "All the Single Ladies." What you don't see in the picture above are the "arms" of the Beyonce clones since their wives were rehearsing elsewhere. This is what the scene looked like backstage when the act came together, and I use that term loosely....

A friend videotaped the show. I hope to see our act soon on YouTube. When I do, I'll embed it here so you can see why I've been so distracted lately.  (I'm still hearing that song in my head.)

The V Book

To be released Feb. 14, 2012.

I agreed to review "V is for Vagina" by Dr. Alyssa Dweck without hesitation. After all, I performed in "The Vagina Monologues" last year around this time (in front of my son and daughter, no less). I've become one with my lady flower! V-Power, and all that. Still, I wondered if there was anything dear Doctor Dweck could teach me, at my age. I received my advance review copy and skimmed the pages. As suspected, there were only a couple chapters of interest to a post-menopausal woman, provided said woman isn't considering a piercing down there or, God forbid, a vajazzle job (think Bedazzling meets the Brazilian - yikes!) I put the book down on the breakfast bar to read later, and never saw it again. 'Seems my adult daughter has absconded with the tome and is none too eager to return it. I'd say that's a positive review.

Efudex Day 5

 

4 days down, 17 more to go.

I decided I might as well start my Efudex photo diary this morning while I'm still in a good mood. As you can see, there are some red spots surfacing on my forehead, most notably the one in the middle (I'm going to look for a large ruby to hide it.) It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better but, for today, it's manageable and pain-free.

Smoothie zing!

This morning, I added a new ingredient to my traditional Greek yogurt and frozen blueberry smoothie recipe - sugar-free black cherry syrup! Mmm. I still threw in some cinnamon (lowers blood sugar), lemon-infused balsamic vinegar, Chia seeds and a scoop of vanilla protein powder, but the syrup replaced the Stevia nicely....and with no sugar substitute after-taste. Keeper!