Adventures on and off the wheat wagon

My column today is, in truth, a compilation of three or four humorous conversations I've had lately about giving up wheat. It did not occur exactly as written. (It's called "artistic" license. I take it all the time.) And, as long as I'm riding the nothing-but-the-truth trail, the fact is, I fell off the wheat wagon this weekend, having pizza with friends on Friday and a fabulous entree' last night called Portobello Wellington. (Oh, God. Serious delectability.) I don't feel good for having done it....stomach upset, vague body aches, sluggishness and a heaping helping of guilt. So, I'm back in the saddle again. Wheat-free, one day at a time.