Hamiltons 1; Bedbugs 0

Last night at our cheap motel, whose name I will not mention (let's just say my low-ball Priceline bidding came back to bite me in the butt), I threw down the bed covers with one big, dramatic swoop. "Now you're talking!" said the spouse. "Not so fast, big guy. I'm looking for bedbugs." After close examination, I determined there were no little varmits hidden in the linens. Still, my skin had a vague, anticipatory prickliness all night long. I never should have watched all those bedbug reports on CNN.